Momwe mphaka wanga adandithandizira kuthana ndi nkhawa

Pali zabwino zambiri pamalingaliro oti mukhale ndi mphaka, koma chofunikira kwambiri ndikuti mupeze bwenzi lokhalitsa. Mphaka wanu waubweya wosandulika-banja amakhalapo nthawi zonse ndipo amabweretsa moyo wabwino komanso wotonthoza m'miyoyo ya anthu omwe ali ndi nkhawa. Inde, wina akhoza kupindula ndi chithandizo cha mphaka (monga momwe chithandizo chothandizira ziweto chimatchulidwira) poyendera bwenzi laubweya "lobwereka", koma ndi bwino kukhala ndi chiweto chanu m'nyumba.

Nkhawa zimatha kukhudza munthu pa msinkhu uliwonse, koma zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti athane nazo paunyamata komanso ali wamng'ono. Izi ndi zimene bungwe la American Psychological Association linalemba kuti: “Achinyamata anena kuti kupsinjika maganizo kwawo m’chaka cha sukulu kumaposa zimene amaona kuti n’zathanzi (5,8 poyerekezera ndi 3,9 pa sikelo ya mfundo 10) ndipo kumaposa kupsinjika maganizo kwa achikulire (5,8) ,5,1 .XNUMX mwa achinyamata poyerekeza ndi XNUMX mwa akuluakulu)". Kodi wophunzira kapena wophunzira yemwe ali ndi nkhawa angachite chiyani kuti akhale wodekha komanso wodzidalira?

Nayi nkhani ya Kennedy, mtsikana yemwe akulimbana ndi nkhawa. Posachedwapa adatenga mwana wa mphaka ndipo adamutsimikizira kuti ndi mphaka wochiza kuti apite naye ku koleji ngati gawo la dongosolo lake lamankhwala.

Kennedy ndi Carolina amapita ku koleji

Muunyamata, nkhawa ikhoza kubwera pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana - kusiya sukulu, kuchoka kwa makolo anu, kuyamba moyo ku koleji - ndipo kulimbana nazo sikophweka. Kennedy, wophunzira watsopano ku yunivesite ya North Carolina ku Greensboro, adadziwa kuti adzafunika thandizo pamene akulowa koleji. Anasiya nyumba yake, koma samakhala m'chipinda chogona atazunguliridwa ndi anthu ena atsopano omwe akukumana ndi malingaliro omwewo ndikusintha zomwezo. Kennedy amachita lendi nyumba ina imene siili pasukulupo, ndipo ngakhale kuti anansi ake ndi ophunzira a ku koleji, afunika kuyesetsa kuti apeze mabwenzi atsopano, chifukwa sikophweka munthu akamada nkhawa.

Kennedy anati: “Nthaŵi zonse ndakhala ndi nkhaŵa, koma m’zaka ziŵiri zapitazi zakhala zikukulirakulira. Ndisanakhale ndi mwana wa mphaka, ndinkajambula zithunzi, kuonera TV kapena kuthamanga kuthamanga kuti ndithane ndi nkhawa yanga.”

Achinyamata ambiri amafuna kudziimira paokha, koma mwa achichepere amene amakonda kukhala ndi nkhaŵa, chisangalalo chachimwemwe chingasakanizidwe ndi kusokonezeka maganizo. Kennedy anati: “Ndinayamba kuganiza zopeza mwana wa mphaka kuti azitha kuchiza pafupifupi chaka chimodzi chapitacho, koma sindinayerekeze kutero mpaka kumapeto kwa chaka changa cha kusukulu, pamene ndinazindikira kuti kusintha kwakukulu kuli patsogolo panga. ... ndi koleji ".

Choncho anapita kumalo osungira ziweto kuti akapeze mwana wa mphaka yemwe angakhale nyama yochizira ndi kumuthandiza kuthana ndi nkhawa zake. Pali nyama zambiri zomwe zimafunikira nyumba kotero kuti kusankha chiweto choyenera kungakhale kovuta. "Ndinadziwa kuti anali mphaka wanga nditawona momwe analiri wodekha komanso momwe adayambira kukwapula chitseko ndi dzanja lake ndikulowera kuchitseko." Kennedy adatcha mphakayo Carolina, ndipo adayamba kukonzekera moyo waku koleji limodzi.

Kupeza Karolina kunali yankho langwiro: ubwino wokhala ndi mphaka m'nyumba ndizodziwikiratu. Kennedy anati: “Nkhawa zanga zachepadi, makamaka panthaŵi ya kusintha kwa moyo wodziimira. Ndimakonda mphaka wanga. Ndikumva bwino kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi kubwera kunyumba nditatha tsiku lalitali ndikulowa m'chipinda changa ndikuwona nyama yokongola iyi yaubweya itagona pabedi langa. " Phindu lokhala ndi mphaka m'nyumba kuti mukhazikitse malingaliro anu okhumudwa ndi amtengo wapatali.

Ubwino wa chithandizo cha mphaka

Kennedy nthawi yomweyo adalembetsa Carolina ngati mphaka wothandizira. Kuchiza kwa ziweto ndi kopindulitsa kwa magulu onse azaka, ndipo monga momwe zinalili ndi Kennedy, ndikofunikira kwambiri pazaka zovuta zaku koleji. Podziwa kuti Caroline wakhala wamkulu bwanji polimbana ndi nkhawa, Kennedy akufuna kugawira ena mphatso imeneyi. Ngakhale kuti mtsikanayo alibe zolinga zenizeni zobweretsa Karolina m'deralo ngati mphaka wochizira, nthawi zina amapempha anzake kuti apumule ndi kusewera ndi mphaka wake. "Ndikuitana anthu (omwe ndimawadziwa) omwe ali pachiwopsezo kuti azikhala ndi mphaka wanga. Iye ndiye gulu lamphamvu kwambiri, ndipo nthawi zambiri amasangalatsa anthu! Sindinaganizepo zopita naye kumalo ochiritsira kunja kwa nyumba, popeza akadali wamng’ono kwambiri.” Mwina m'tsogolomu, Kennedy adzatha kutenga chiweto chake kumalo osungirako okalamba kapena kuchipatala cha ana kuti akasangalatse anthu ena.

Kulera mwana wa mphaka chinali chisankho chanzeru kwa Kennedy. Munthu wodwala nkhawa amakhala wodekha akamaganizira zofuna za ena, ndipo chiweto chimakhala chododometsa kwambiri. Komabe, nthawi zina udindo waukulu pawokha ungayambitse nkhawa. Kennedy anasankha kupeza mphaka wochizira galu mwa zina chifukwa cha udindo wofunikira. Iye anati: “N’kosavuta kukhala ndi mphaka wochiritsira kusiyana ndi galu chifukwa amphaka amakhala odziimira okha ndipo sindiyenera kudera nkhaŵa kwambiri za iye ndikapita m’kalasi kapena ndikamatuluka mochedwa.”

Nkhani ya Kennedy ndi Carolina si yachilendo. Ubwino umodzi wa mphaka m'nyumba ndikutha kukhazika mtima pansi eni ake. Munthu amene akuvutika ndi nkhawa amasangalala kulandira chithandizo chilichonse, makamaka kuchokera kwa mnzake wotuluka.

Ngati mukuganiza zopeza mphaka kuti athane ndi nkhawa, zabwino! Ndi kuphunzitsidwa pang'ono ndi chikondi chochuluka, mphaka wanu adzawonjezera kwambiri banja lanu. Ndipo kumbukirani: ngati mutapeza mphaka, mtendere udzabwera m'miyoyo iwiri nthawi imodzi - mwa inu nokha komanso m'moyo wa mphaka yemwe akufunafuna nyumba.

Wothandizira Bio

Erin Ollila

Erin Ollila ndi wokonda ziweto yemwe amakhulupirira mphamvu ya mawu, kuti nkhani zake zikhoza kupindulitsa anthu ndi nyama zawo komanso ngakhale kuzisintha. Mutha kumupeza pa Twitter @ReinventingErin kapena kuphunzira zambiri za iye pa http://erinollila.com.